Ketchup

Historically I have always made note of how long it has been since my last blog. I feel like that would be an insult to the blogging world to mention it at this point! A lot has happened since my last blog in November of 2008. Brandon pointed out to me that my lack of blogging seemed to directly coincide with his presence in my life... and I always thought of myself as a multi-tasker! For shame Michelle... for shame! Here is a brief timeline of events from Nov 2008 to now:

• Nov 2008 - made friendly/flirtacious contact via email with Brandon Moore
• Dec 2008 - made the first move - for the 3rd time in our relationship... started dating Brandon Moore
• March 2009 - told Brandon I was in love with him... got nothing back. Jerk. ;-)
• June 28, 2009 10:09 am - Brandon finally says "I love you" back
• June 28, 2009 10:10 am - Brandon proposes
• June 28, 2009 - May 28, 2010 - I practically lose my mind trying to plan a wedding
• May 29 - I marry the most perfect man God could have ever created for me
• May 29 - Michelle DeIasi = Michelle Moore
• May 29 - my craziness paid off - I threw an AWESOME party. The Moore's win.
• May 30 - June 4 - Saint Lucia for honeymoon... I want to go back... or go to any all inclusive hotel on a beach with my husband
• June 5 - Move to Lubbock
• Sept 2010 - lost my job with Noah's Ark... sad day, but they just couldn't afford to keep me long-distance anymore
• Sept 2010 - Started my job with DSW...
• Sept 2010 - present - living life with my amazing husband... still can't believe its already been 9 months. Doesn't feel longer... doesn't feel shorter... just feels like time is officially irrelevant

There we go! You are officially caught up! Now I'm sure if you are reading this blog you probably already knew all of the above, as I'm sure you are my husband. The only person who I will force to read my blogs.

Now for some musings. I spent an hour reading through all of my old blogs the other day with Brandon (most of them are on myspace)... seeing as he and I weren't really in contact during my blogging days, he had never read any of them. I became completely overwhelmed by how much I had to say back then! I'm hoping that I still have fun stories to share, because as most will tell you, married life is AMAZING... and very consistent. Not much changes from day to day. Maybe I should try to spice things up just so I have something to entertain the 3 people who will read this. Yes... I like this idea... instead of waking up and feeding the dogs, then letting them go to the bathroom... I will wake up and feed them... AFTER they go to the bathroom!!!! YESSS!!!!! I'm a genius. Amazing reading material is headed your way my dears. Stay tuned.

Seriously though... I'm going to write things, feel free to stick around.

First Breath After Coma

I'm sitting in my parent's house with Murphy on my lap listening to Explosions in the Sky. It's cold outside but I have the world's greatest lap warmer... who apparently figured out that I am writing about him and is now deciding to squirm. It's one of my favorite times of year (second only to wildflower season)... the time right before the binge eating, right before we say hello to the cold that makes your nose run. Right before the holiday rush... it's peaceful. When every guy devotes at least 8 hours a weekend to watching football, and every girl finds some excuse to sit close enough to lay their heads down for a nap. The time when its just cold enough to start playing with all the new hats you bought just for the winter season... the new cardigan that is just perfect for the 55 degree weather. It's nice.

So, its time to traditionally address how long it has been since I last blogged. Over 4 months, that is just sad. I've decided that my blogging is kind of like my choreography, whenever I finish with one that I deem pretty decent, I'm always scared to try to pump another one out for fear of not living up to the last one. I know, silliness.

Today was the Outbound Experience at CBC. We sent out hundreds of people all throughout the city to do different service projects. Be it feeding the homeless, honey-do projects, or writing letters to soldiers, the hands and feet of God were active today, and it was evident everywhere. I went with the brown bag ministry to the bridge at Commerce street to hand out food/blankets/necessities to the homeless. I cried with a woman named Rosie as she told me about how her husband had just been deported back to Mexico. She let me hug her for at least 2 solid minutes. I know that what we did today made a gigantic impact, but at that moment I felt so helpless, so wordless, and so ill-prepared. We prayed for a while but when we were sitting on the curb talking, I flat out admitted that I didn't have a clue what she was going through. I told her that it would be ridiculous for me to say that I know how she feels, I still can't even imagine. Her husband has been deported and she doesn't have enough money to buy a phone card to let him know that she is ok. Stupid me... I had my keys with me and nothing else. I know that Rosie was so thankful to just have me there, rubbing her back, praying for her and sharing her tears, but I just feel like it wasn't enough. I wish I had some grand realization to conclude this part of the story... but I don't. All I can do is to keep the memory fresh, not let Rosie fade into the back of my mind where I store all of my other lost passions. If you're reading this, please just say a quick 5-second prayer that God would keep me alert to all of these memories. That I not let a 30 minute drive deter me from checking up on her and all the others that I have spoken to over the past month.

I'm in a somewhat of a mellow mood right now, and I place all the blame on my shoulder-region. Yesterday I flicked my head around quickly and jacked my neck... after a good nights sleep I could hardly move it. The funny part about this is that I keep telling people that I flicked my hair too quickly... come on... you guys know me. I "flicked my hair" while I was car-dancing. Who knew that you needed to stretch before you car-danced?? Not this girl!

I'm holding back. Can you tell? I've had a TON going through my head lately... but unfortunately it's still to early to blog about. Here's hoping I will get to share it with the public in the next year. That's really all I can pump out for now. This blog was meant to be a toe-dip back into the pool... I expected nothing incredible. That being said, hello again my darlings. I'll be seeing you more often, I promise.

Oh Happy Day!

Today I woke up and just KNEW it was going to be an awesome day. Any motivational speaker will tell you that happiness is a decision that you have to make when you wake up in the morning... well, today, I made it. I woke up on time... put on a dress, did my make up, and left my house at 7:15 (a good 30 minutes earlier than normal). This enabled me to stop by Starbucks where my favorite barista cooked up my favorite drink. Then I hopped in my car without a care in the world... knowing that even if the worlds worst traffic jam magically appeared before me that there would be no way I could be late. Yes, it was a good morning. As I cruised through traffic I turned to number 5 on my preset station (which I never listen to) and "More Than a Feeling" came on. Yesssssssss... this made me bop my head... this made me think of an episode of Scrubs, life is good. (Just watched that YouTube 3 times... wow. Do yourself a favor and click the link... smiling is inevitable!) Then what happened next was just too good to be true: I flipped over to 96.1 and Sara Bareilles' Love Song was on! Oh the joy of a great morning!!

Positive thinking... positive results! Right? BAHHHHHHHH! Wrong! Motivational speakers (operating without the banner of Christ) don't have a CLUE! So I cruised into work... 20 minutes early, content to be in on my day off. (Update: my work went to a 4-day work week and Mondays are usually my day off... but since we had Friday off I have to work a 5 day week this week... at least, that is what boss-man told me before he left for vacation.) Well, I get to work and the door is locked... weird. Whatever. I go up to my desk and start checking my e-mails... and then it hit me. My FAAAAAAAAAAVORITE Barista did not make me a Grande Soy Cinnamon Dolce Latte. She made me a Grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So I got sick. Awesome. Then my accountant passes by my office and stops when she sees me. "What the heck are you doing here today?? Isn't it your day off?" Me: Yeah, but we aren't supposed to let the new schedule ever give us a 4-day weekend... so I have to work the full week this week. "Oh... well Sheree & Suzi (the two other women who share my day off) aren't coming in today."

Awesome. So what she's telling me is that I've been sick this morning AND I could have gotten away with not coming in. FABULOUS! My boss' assistant just got here... she looked just as confused as my accountant. Apparently I'm the only one in the company who was made aware of this rule. IGNORANCE IS BLISS!!

So here I am. I made my decision to have a fantabulous day and all of this happens before 9 am. What to do! Well, here again, I have a two options... I can sit and "sulk" (in words of the entire Murphy side of my family) or I can make another decision. To delight in what God has given me. I choose the latter! God gave me an awesome sunrise this morning... God gave me a job to come to 5 days this week... and God kept my Starbucks alive in the wake of closing 600 stores!

All this to say that happiness is much more than a decision you make once a day. It is a commitment to God and acknowledging/being thankful for all of his blessings. So while Satan tries to throw poo all over my awesome day, I will simply let it keep flying by. Life is too short and filled with too many tiny blessings to worry about the mishaps!

Good to be back guys. A special shout-out to Anna in Colorado, hope you are having a great time sweetie!!

This little piggy...

I just started writing this completely deep blog about community and fellowship and then realized that I had promised I would play in the shallow end the next time I wrote. Heaven forbid I break my promise to all you devoted readers! So today... I shall write... an ode to Reese Peanutbutter Cups.

Why are these so great? I DON'T KNOW!!! I wish I could tell you why day in and day out I crave the chocolate, peanutbuttery goodness... I wish I could harness its power to solve world hunger... but no! These flavorful morsels bring nothing but pain and suffering! Allow me to explain:

Good things about Reeses:

• The peanutbutter
• Chocolate
• The ability to choose the way that you would like to eat it

HORRIBLE things about Reeses:

• They make me thirsty
• They make me want more Reeses... no other candy will do
• They make my breath smell like peanutbutter (which I'm told is not exactly desirable)
• They make me fat

So why, why, why can I not contain myself around the office candy jar!?!? I know all of these horrible things about my most FAVORITE candy... and yet I continue to scarf them down like a pig on slop after being quarantined for 3 days! RIDICULOUS! This little piggy went to market, bought an entire bag of Reeses, dumped them into the candy jar, and hoped like crazy that she would be able to muster up some restraint. Way to go piggy... your breath smells like peanutbutter again.

On the Other Side Looking Back

I have had the hardest time starting this blog. I think its due to the fact that I am ridiculously out of practice... my last blog having been March 30. I really shouldn't say blog... that thing was a novel! Props to all you out there who took the time to read it. I appreciate your patronage and will someday figure out a way to pay you back for your time (I should really be reading your blogs if you have them... leave a comment letting me know that my lazy butt needs to get in gear. Note to you: if I'm not commenting, I'm not reading.)

Before I get started, I feel the need to let you guys know of a new musician whose debut album will be coming out June 3. Brendan James. I found him randomly today on YouTube of all places. I am MADLY in love... so far I have only listened to the four songs he has on his myspace but that was enough for me to know that I'm making the purchase as soon as it comes out on iTunes.

So I have finally made it through my Tour de Weddings. As much as I may have complained about my extended involvement in all of my friend's Day-O-Bliss... I loved every second of it. Looking back I feel so blessed to have been a part of both Nancy & Jennifer's weddings... they were both very different and very perfect. I loved the dresses, the parties, the ceremonies, the RECEPTIONS, and the friends. Both were truly days to be remembered for quite some time.

So now that I am on the other side looking back, I gained so much insight about who I am and where I am headed. Or rather... the postponement of where I am headed. These weddings were such a wake up call to me in my own dating life. I was watching 4 people who really were ready for all that is marriage. They had really found that one person who understands, loves, and most importantly puts up with them.

When I got back to San Antonio (after Jennifer's wedding in Dallas), I asked God to give me a word. Not sure what about... just a word in general. God pointed me straight to the Old Testament (much to my dismay... I have not had much luck finding verses that I can really take as applicable to my life currently), and then He pointed me to Exodus. Great. Thanks a lot God... what the heck am I supposed to see in here? So I stick my thumb right where Exodus should be and open up to Exodus 13 with the heading "Crossing the Sea". I read the following:

17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. [a] The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.

At first I couldn't see the forest through the trees. I knew that this is what God wanted me to see but I didn't have a clue why. I thought about it all morning... on my way to work... at work. And then it finally hit me. God did not lead the Israelites down the short path... the short path led to war, hostility... bad things. Instead he took them down the LOOOOONG DESERT road. Could I get a better analogy for my life with regard to dating? I think not. God is not leading me down a short path... its long... and it is a desert. A wasteland of dating. This is a blessing. A big one. I have had such peace in my heart since reading this... I think I've brought some great insight to others I've shared it with as well. I hope it speaks to you too!

Thats all for now kids. I promise a light-hearted blog will be next. Enough of this serious business.

When You’re Ready

WARNING: Blog of substance... I know what I need to write, and it could be done in one paragraph... or 8 pages. So bear with me.

Good morning blog world. How are you today? I’m exhausted! In a good way though. Once again, I’m writing you from outside the normal confines of my office... but I’m hoping that this blog flows a little better than the last time I tried this. Not only am I outside of my office on this fine Sunday morning, but I am in an entirely different city on a computer that does not belong to me. I made an unexpected trip to Plano this weekend to visit a friend who needed to be visited. The weekend has been filled with shopping (I have new accessories... get excited), eating (I’m in love with the restaurant "Corner Bakery"... not only do they have excellent food but when I found a hair in my food they gave me $15 to Corner Bakery AND they gave me my money back! Now THAT is service! -- now back to the list), laughter, amazing sermons, tears, more laughter, and general exhaustion from lack of sleep. It has been a good weekend. God has allowed me to watch Him work and it has been dumbfounding. Literally. Dumbfounding. As in I have been made dumb (or speechless) by what God has done. Leave it to our God. The only being in the planet that can make me shut up. There are stories that I would LOVE to put on here for the world to see about what God has been doing in my life... but it just wouldn’t do God justice to put the details of His miraculous work on the same page that I talk about Damien Rice Warning Labels and movie/play reviews. If you are at all intrigued, call me. Right now. Call me and I will tell you things that you probably aren’t ready to hear, things that are so awesome (literal meaning of the word), so beyond our comprehension, that they too will render you speechless.

So. Moral of the story. God has been revealing some good stuff to me. The next few paragraphs will be what I woke up with on my heart. My heart breaks for the people I will be addressing, it always has. I want you all to know that this is something a lot of people go through, and a lot of people have crossed my path asking for advice on this, so here we go.

There are certain people in this world who find it impossible to be single. Already some of you are wondering, "Is Michelle writing this blog with me in mind? What the heck Michelle??" The answer is a firm "no". I am writing this blog with an outline of this type of person. Be they a 15 year old in Youth Quake, or a 28 year old friend. It is not directed towards any one person, but I’m aware that there will be quite a few of your staring into the mirror while reading this. The rest probably know someone or 10 people exactly like this. If you read anything you deem worthy, share it.

Back to it.

There are certain people in this world who find it impossible to be single. They can’t help flirting, or they are just so beautiful or handsome that they constantly have the opposite sex drawn near to them, OR they can be completely honest with themselves and realize that they have been scarred. They have a scar somewhere on their heart, whether it be self-inflicted, a product of a family issue, a tough breakup, whatever. This scar has them running scared. Scared of being alone. Alone for the moment, or alone for the rest of their lives, they live in fear of the prospect. Some of you may be feeling very exposed right now... I’m not looking at you, there’s probably no more than one or two people in the room with you and they have no clue what you are reading. This is something between you and God.

This is a very touchy subject. I’m still not sure that I should be writing this blog, but God put it on my heart, so here it is. Are you in denial about "always" dating someone? There is a pretty good rule of thumb... the amount of time that you have been single (in your teen/adult life) should equal AT LEAST half of the collective time that you have been in a relationship. For instance, if you dated someone all through high school, 3 years lets say, and then broke up right when you graduated... in order to spend half of that time single, you would need to not date again for a year and a half. Some of you are laughing and saying "HA, Michelle I haven’t dated anyone in the last 3 years!" and some of you have a look of disgust on your face and are thinking, "A year and a half of being SINGLE?!?! ARE YOU CRAZY??" Yeah, you people who think I’m crazy, you are my target audience. They say that it takes half the time that you were in a relationship with someone to fully get over them. I am a big supporter of this. I believe that it is VERY true. However, there are exceptions. Tons of them.

Moving on.

So now that I have my target audience awake and mildly upset, it’s time to tell you the good news. Why am I writing this blog? I am writing this because God wants you to know that he wants to know YOU. If you aren’t a Christian, let me URGE you that God REALLY wants to know you personally. And if you are a Christian and struggle with this, God really wants to know you... but more importantly He wants you to know that you, ALONE, in Christ, can survive. But not only can you survive, you can THRIVE. There is so much goodness that comes from being in a great relationship, don’t get me wrong. I’m a BIG supporter or relationships... I mean, come on, do you think I would be invited to BE IN all of these weddings if I was a relationship cynic?? No way Jose. I REJOICE when my friends find the person they are meant to be with. I’m one of the few single women who gets GENUINELY excited when I hear that my friends are engaged. PRAISE GOD! THERE IS HOPE FOR ALL OF US! But back to the point. For those of you who have spent more time in your life being a boyfriend or a girlfriend, than you have being single... God wants to know you. But MORE importantly, God wants you to know Him. The opposite sex can be an amazing partner in the process of glorifying God... or they can be a poisonous distraction. Are you in a good relationship right now? Do you consciously acknowledge that God is MORE IMPORTANT than your boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you spend enough time in the Word? Do you find yourself spending more time struggling with the sin attached to being in a relationship than actually being in the relationship? Do you feel convicted, right now? Than it might be time to have a one-on-one with the Big Man. He’s calling out to you. He hurts watching you punish yourself for mistakes that are circumstantial and He wants to show you what amazing gifts He can give. You just have to seek them out. Some of you may argue that this is very possible to do while in the relationship. If you have been convicted through this blog, then it is my opinion that you are wrong. Bold statement, but its my opinion. Saying that you can fix these things while being in a spiritually failing relationship is like... well... let me paint you a picture.

I just threw you into the deep end of the pool. You are a great swimmer. You’ve been doing it all your life. I ask you to tread water in the middle of the deep end. You say, "Uh, no problem Michelle, this is cake, I do it all the time." How long can you keep yourself afloat? "Shoot, I could do this for hours!" I believe you. Absolutely, you are right. When you have nothing else on your mind, you can make a failing relationship... OOPS, I mean treading water, work forever. So now that you have been treading water for a couple of minutes I ask you to take on a HUGE task. Thats right... I ask you to do... a SUDOKU!! While you are treading water. Don’t worry, its waterproof. You are thinking to yourself, this is ridiculous Michelle. That is impossible. (Now you know how I view what you would be attempting to do... impossible) Back to the illustration. While you may be able to pop a few numbers out on the infamous Sudoku, you will eventually get tired. You will get mentally tired... if you can even keep yourself going that long. But I guarantee you that you will get physically tired from trying to keep yourself afloat. Eventually you will have the opportunity to choose. What will you choose when it comes time? The logical choice to me is for you to get out of the pool. Staying in the pool is only going to make you physically tired and eventually you are going to have to get out anyway... you know... before you drown. When you get out of the pool you can finally give the sudoku your full attention. You will be able to sit down, curl up on your bed, and knock that sucker out. But lets say you choose to chuck the Sudoku. You choose to stay in the failing relationship... treading water, you choose to neglect your spiritual health, you forget about the sudoku. There are two outcomes. You break up, you get out of the pool; or you drown... I don’t even want to talk about what that looks like. I pray that you seek help before you get to that point.
OK, so... lets say you do attempt this incredible feat known as singleness. Lets say you brave it. You are not alone. I promise you. Aside from the typical Bible school answer of "God will be with you" which is ABSOLUTE and TOTAL truth... God will take you by the hand and actually let you ENJOY being single (crazy concept... I know). But in addition to that, you have people all around you who want to love on you and spend time with you. I’M ONE OF THEM!! Your friends are amazing resources to feel God’s love and to truly enjoy being single.

So now the next question. How will I know when I’m ready? Well, the legalistic side of me wants to tell you to wait half of the time of your longest relationship. Not your most recent. Longest. But guys, honestly, if you commit yourself to truly knowing who God is during that time, He will reveal to you when you are ready to date. There is no set timeframe... there is only what is right between you and God. Let me give you the verse that encouraged me to write this entire blog:

"Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem,
by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer:
Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,
until the time is ripe—and you’re ready."- Song of Solomon 3:5 (The Message)

Now I realize that this verse is geared towards women but it is applicable for us all. Wait for the time to be ripe... wait for the time to be right, and wait until you are ready. How will you know? Call me and I will tell you a story that will knock your socks off. But the overall point is that God will make it perfectly clear to you when you are ready. He will. I promise. So take heart in His plan for you. Trust that He knows what you need and who will be able to give it to you. Wait for that person and don’t settle in the mean time. I love you all. I’m proud of you, but you need to trust that God will let you know When You’re Ready.