First Breath After Coma

I'm sitting in my parent's house with Murphy on my lap listening to Explosions in the Sky. It's cold outside but I have the world's greatest lap warmer... who apparently figured out that I am writing about him and is now deciding to squirm. It's one of my favorite times of year (second only to wildflower season)... the time right before the binge eating, right before we say hello to the cold that makes your nose run. Right before the holiday rush... it's peaceful. When every guy devotes at least 8 hours a weekend to watching football, and every girl finds some excuse to sit close enough to lay their heads down for a nap. The time when its just cold enough to start playing with all the new hats you bought just for the winter season... the new cardigan that is just perfect for the 55 degree weather. It's nice.

So, its time to traditionally address how long it has been since I last blogged. Over 4 months, that is just sad. I've decided that my blogging is kind of like my choreography, whenever I finish with one that I deem pretty decent, I'm always scared to try to pump another one out for fear of not living up to the last one. I know, silliness.

Today was the Outbound Experience at CBC. We sent out hundreds of people all throughout the city to do different service projects. Be it feeding the homeless, honey-do projects, or writing letters to soldiers, the hands and feet of God were active today, and it was evident everywhere. I went with the brown bag ministry to the bridge at Commerce street to hand out food/blankets/necessities to the homeless. I cried with a woman named Rosie as she told me about how her husband had just been deported back to Mexico. She let me hug her for at least 2 solid minutes. I know that what we did today made a gigantic impact, but at that moment I felt so helpless, so wordless, and so ill-prepared. We prayed for a while but when we were sitting on the curb talking, I flat out admitted that I didn't have a clue what she was going through. I told her that it would be ridiculous for me to say that I know how she feels, I still can't even imagine. Her husband has been deported and she doesn't have enough money to buy a phone card to let him know that she is ok. Stupid me... I had my keys with me and nothing else. I know that Rosie was so thankful to just have me there, rubbing her back, praying for her and sharing her tears, but I just feel like it wasn't enough. I wish I had some grand realization to conclude this part of the story... but I don't. All I can do is to keep the memory fresh, not let Rosie fade into the back of my mind where I store all of my other lost passions. If you're reading this, please just say a quick 5-second prayer that God would keep me alert to all of these memories. That I not let a 30 minute drive deter me from checking up on her and all the others that I have spoken to over the past month.

I'm in a somewhat of a mellow mood right now, and I place all the blame on my shoulder-region. Yesterday I flicked my head around quickly and jacked my neck... after a good nights sleep I could hardly move it. The funny part about this is that I keep telling people that I flicked my hair too quickly... come on... you guys know me. I "flicked my hair" while I was car-dancing. Who knew that you needed to stretch before you car-danced?? Not this girl!

I'm holding back. Can you tell? I've had a TON going through my head lately... but unfortunately it's still to early to blog about. Here's hoping I will get to share it with the public in the next year. That's really all I can pump out for now. This blog was meant to be a toe-dip back into the pool... I expected nothing incredible. That being said, hello again my darlings. I'll be seeing you more often, I promise.